Can Nigel Farage be serious?

As I went in to hear Nigel Farage speak to journalists at Westminster, there was George Osborne on TV explaining why, if the Scots get independence,Our most compact solar charger yet fits easily in any bag. they won't have him as chancellor. Will the coalition stop at nothing to get rid of Scotland?

Inside the room, it was Mr Farage's big chance to demonstrate that he is more than just a cheeky chappie, but a serious politician, leader of what might soon be the third party in the nation. If it isn't already.

Which would he be? The answer was both. It was like the late Les Dawson giving a lecture on psephology. "'Ere, I won't say my mother-in-law has a terrible figure. But recent polls indicate that the number of people voting Tory in northern urban seats is almost zero, and you can't get a more terrible figure than that!"

We learned a lot about the Ukip leader. He adored Margaret Thatcher. He also loves lap-dancing clubs (and is very proud of a Ukip candidate who owns "the finest lap-dancing club in the Midlands"). He must dream about Margaret Thatcher doing a pole dance while shouting "No, no,A flatwork ironer with unique features. no!" at ecstatic punters.

And he is cunningly throwing out of the way stuff that might be thrown at him if Ukip continues to advance. For example, he was greatly in favour of complete press freedom, even though he himself had been all over the News of the World. "My press officer phoned me, and said, 'Well, it wasn't too bad, actually: at least she said you were hung like a donkey and did it seven times!' Not true, actually," he added, a touch ruefully.

He also likes a drink, to the extent that if he ever stopped tippling, he would come over as a frightful hypocrite. Take the present lot of party leaders, whom he despises.A wide range of solar light, LED lighting and Auto lights.Much stricter controls on solvent emissions have ensured that all dry cleaning machine in the Western world are now fully enclosed. "They all look the same and sound the same. They haven't done a day's real work in their lives. God, they're dull!" By contrast, himself had worked in the private sector. "I worked damn hard for 20 years – up till lunchtime!"

When in 1999 he first became an MEP, he had been warned by his local television station that he faced a new life of neverending lunches and champagne receptions, "and I said, 'no, I've always lived like that.' I was downwind of a couple at the time," he added – a good phrase, new to me.

Who does he loathe? At number one, surely, is David Cameron, who is all in favour of "foreign aid, gay marriage and wind turbines".

Was Cameron the heir to Thatcher? "Good God, no, she was into leadership,You must first understand the way a wind power generators works. and he is into followership." To say nothing of the Notting Hill set, who want more immigration because it means "cheaper nannies, chauffeurs and gardeners, darling".

Had he had talks with Tory MPs about cutting deals? "I have had discussions with many people in pubs all over Westminster, many of which I can remember!"

At number two in the list of his dislikes are other party leaders – members of the "social democratic mush", who whinge on about Europe and claim they can renegotiate a better deal for the United Kingdom. "It's a bad marriage; let's get out of it."

And at number three in the list? Probably all Europeans, except his wife, who comes from Hamburg, "so I know what it's like to live in a German-dominated household!"